I'm typing this quickly. Before I forget too much of it I wanted to make sure I was able to share. I can't keep my eyes off of her, and it's almost time to try to fee her again and it's late. I'm still running off of adrenaline. I really can't believe she is here. Actually here. In my arms. And beautiful. So beautiful and so perfect. She is quite, latches well(when she wants too), full head of hair. Just all around a complete blessing.
Everything started Monday:
Monday I had my doctors appointment and he decided to strip my membranes since I was still only dilated one centimeter. That was very uncomfortable!
Tuesday afternoon my mucus plug came out. That evening my contractions started. Very early labor contractions, very far apart and not too terrible.
Wednesday: as you read my contractions were much more noticeable. Last night around 8pm they were about 30to20minutes apart. I was able to get about three hours of sleep, give or take a few minutes, when I woke up about 11ish. My contractions became 14-10minutes apart. Very strong. I waited as long as I could. It was last I didn't want to call my mom or my Doula to go to the doctor to only be dilated to a 2. But I forfeited, listening to my little voice inside. Just in case I were farther along than that I would rather be safe than sorry.
At 150AM I walked in to the hospital and told them I was having contractions about 6minutes apart now. They wheeled me up to the Labor and Delivery room so that I could get settled in. When the nurse checked me I was at about a 4.5 and roughly 80% effaced. Thank you God for having me come in when I did.
My Doula was such a blessing and a huge help. She went above and beyond for me. Walking with me, staying in tune with my all over the place conversations, reassuring me through it all. Letting me hold her hand when the contractions came and tell me how great of a job I was doing. When I got to the transition spot she was great. I was shaking, nauseous and very cranky. At one point I decided that the shower sounded like a good idea, hopefully it would help my contractions, keep me calm. My mom got into the shower with me, my Doula stayed just to the side but got almost as wet.
When my nausea hit the breaking point (a point that my mom actually can't handle, when people get sick she gets sick), Doula stayed told me it was okay and even picked a few of the chunks out of the shower floor for me. She knew that that was the transition period, so she coaxed me back into the bed. Movement was not my friend. Some how or other though, God aloud me to sleep (half unconscious) between the contractions.
I cussed a few times.
I felt bad for the nurses, they couldn't do anything with-out triggering a contraction. When they came back in to check me I was at a nine and ready to go. They stepped out and I decided to get into a leaning forward squatting position. I was sitting on my knees, with my forearms and chest resting on a birthing ball. My left hand held my moms hand while my right hand held Doula's hand. It was on. It hurt.
And I knew it was time. There was a burning sensation. And the pushing...the pushing was involuntary. It happened. And the farther she went down and out the louder I got. It felt...like something coming out of me. Girls it's almost like when you have a tampon in, but somehow it starts making it's way out on it's own. Only 10times bigger. She was coming. My Doula kept reminding me how to breath, deep LOW noises with fast-short exhales.
I didn't hear it (as I was too busy making deep screams) but one of the nurses chided my doula saying she wasn't supposed to let me push until they were back in the room. Like I mentioned though, it was involuntary. My entire pushing time was less than five minutes. The nurses came in to catch the baby just in time. She was pretty much a veil birth (meaning she was birthed in the amniotic sac, my water never broke. My doctor respected my wishes to not break my water, I wanted it to happen naturally. Well it never really did.) The nurses had to break the sack while she was head out, her shoulders almost got stuck and they had to make sure the cord wasn't around her neck.
I felt it as they burst the bag. It sloshed on my leg, very wet.
I heard one of them saying that they needed to page my doctor, another stated they couldn't get ahold of him. So the first repeatedly said to page a second and then a third doctor if they couldn't get the second. I was too busy pushing to pay too much mind, but I had had a feeling my doctor wouldn't make it to the birth. The thought entered my mind again.
She came out so quickly. And they asked if I wanted to turn and see her. All I could ask is if she was okay. They quickly picked her up, toweled her off and had me laying back(but slightly sitting up). The nurses handed her to me and she is fine. I ask "She is a girl, right?" That brought a little bit of a chuckle and a yes.
But they weren't lying when they tell you the pain really does go away when you hold your baby. Most of it went away. My doctor came in and helped to deliver my placenta, I was having very minor contractions because my body was so ready to get it out. I asked if I had torn, he told me yes but it was only a very small labia tear. I was surprised. But very thankful.
As I've mentioned and mentioned, God used this beautiful baby girl and this pregnancy to bring me closer to him. Granted I did vocalize that I was a little bit upset with Eve.
Going through the contractions was not easy. It was very very painful. But at one point I had the revelation that Jesus went through so much worse for us. That the pain I was feeling was almost a retribution for my past sins that I was having a hard time forgiving myself of. I also had to ask God to give me strength through the transition period as well as through the pushing stage. He did. I really believe he did.
I went through this birth completely natural. No pain pills. Plenty of times in my head I didn't think I could do it, that I wanted her out, that I wanted the pain medication, that it was just too much. But with Gods grace and with God's help I was able to do so. And I love her so so very much.
My birth photographer was great. She was helpful to my doula and mom when I had their hands for my contractions, she took pictures of some awkward things. But she was great! I am so thankful for her.
It was a great birth, just what I wanted. I had hoped/wanted her born on her due date (check), I had hoped she might be born on a rainy day(check, we even have some places that are flooded, and the storms stopped shortly after she was born). She latched so quickly and easily. She loves skin to skin contact.
She is my everything.
I know I've probably left a few things out. But I am ready to feed her and nap until the next time.
I hope you've all had a fantastic Thursday.
