The {end} is close...

woo-hoo!

The end has happened(for this semester)!! I can not tell you how happy I am that this semester is over. For some reason, looking back it wasn't as evil as it seemed while being in it. But then I remember how bad it was in the moment, yet also looking back I also see how I made the situations so rough.



Thanks to the little minion of my dark companion, also known as anxiety, I found myself procrastinating away from the things that were so stressful. It's a fun circle that those with anxiety go through.

Anyways, the good news is that I passed my classes with three B's! Not what I was aiming for, but still better than I was expecting. (So now I am just waiting for the New Year to start!!)

So these last few weeks, more like month and a half, have been... on the verge of blissful, absolutely more calm and my DC has been so quiet. I have had a few small realizations as to what exactly my triggers are. Although another big help has been that, and this is super scary for me to write about because honestly I'm secretly super superstitious but, I managed to find a really great guy. My Pirate {as I like to call him} is so tremendously sweet, and supportive. Since we've been seeing each other, I've had at most two anxiety attacks, which have been exceedingly small. There is a chance that the last anxiety attack I had, which was the absolute worst I've ever experienced, gave me the break that I needed. My Pirate though, makes me tremendously happy. 

I forgot where I was going with this...

Triggers:
Alcohol. Appears to be my biggest. It was probably sub-conscious that I slowed and lowered my alcohol intake, but this past weekend in partial celebration of my tremendously stressful semester being over I drank more than usual. Interestingly enough it wasn't a lot more than usual, maybe double the usual or 2.5 the usual. Either way the next morning was mildly rough. A confirmation to my hypothesis. 


I've given Pirate a brief summary of my dark companion, and he didn't run. Which was, is, scary and so incredibly comforting. Part of the reason I've been avoiding writing (aside from the stress of finals) is because of the worry of what he may actually read my blog. For some reason while I love to know that people actually read what I write, it's also slightly intimidating. 


I apologize. I feel like this post is a bit scattered, I'm recovering from a head-cold. So I'm just going to leave this here. 

yay! happy note before the holidays!


{Rule 10:}
Limit your substance intake. Whatever your vice is, take it slow and easy. It has the ability to up your anxiety and depression. I feel like this is a well known fact, I've known if for the longest time. Yet, until I started decrease my intake I didn't realize how true it is. Give it a shot, even for two week, if you see a difference stick with it.