{craving} for Change

This post is honestly tremendously silly and unimportant compared to what's going on in Paris. 

Which is absolutely terrible; my thoughts, my heart and my prayers are with France 200%, as well as the other countries that were hit with tragedy this weekend. I truly wish I could help. 

{photo credit goes to Facebook, where a dear friend posted this photo. This is not my creation.}

But, I wanted to give you a better post than the previous. 

I tremendously wanted to give you a nice update. Fun one. An up-beat one. 

All of your {littleness}

**

Sweet girl,

For the a few weeks, or months, you've been so frequently placing your tiny hand on my face at night as we lay in bed about to fall asleep. 

More often than not I swipe your hand away, pleading you to stop, then roughly informing you 'enough is enough'.

There's {hope}, but

It scares me.

I'm going to apologize now. This is probably going to be a very rambled post, I'll do my best to keep it all together and easy to follow.

Now while I was doing a bit of looking into the Obamacare that ya know, we all have to have now, uhm, I discovered that a few of the plans cover depression. Whoo-hoo! Excitement! Right?! I can start having all of my problems taken care of, I can not feel so much of everything and so much of nothing. I can concentrate. I can not feel like I'm a terrible mother. I can breathe {physically and metaphorically}. I can explore what happiness truly is. Maybe be a real true thorough optimist, or sleep properly, or eat properly or focus like I always try and need to.

But then it becomes scary.

{I love you}

Those three words.
Heavy words.
Tremendously heavy when put in such an order, yet individually they are quite light.

Many people believe that 'love' is tossed around so lightly these days in random conversation about unworthy objects or not truly meant when said about a person. So I have found that I intend to use it more often in the 'proper' context, with the proper meaning.

Yet it is so sad how easily such a phrase is thrown around so hollowly, so often. So my dearest daughter, I need you to remember* this because this is important.