Free Maps

It's actually very quite here at the revenue office. It's nice and annoying at the same time. There aren't many people here, I'm number 94 and they are only on number 70.
My arm/ab work/shoulder work out is going to have to wait until after Zumba.

I had dinner with a one of my closest friends last night. It was fun, needed and full of laughter. He's going through a divorce and we've been close friends for about eight or nine months.

I saw my momma this morning. Cried a little. It was nice to have a binding moment with her. Those are few and far between. Im glad we have them it helps our relationship.

But back to the free maps.
They are sitting there on the counter and I can't express how bad I want one. I'm going to very giddily take one as I step up there and try not to act too happy about it as that may seem odd in a place like this.

When I get home tonight in going to lay it out on the dining table, close my eyes an drop a marker.

Better yet I'm going to tape it to the wall and throw something, I'm just not sure what. I'll figure that out later. But I'm going to go on a road trip. And I am so excited. I'm not sure exactly when ill go or who will go with me. But that can be determined later. :)

.myself.

I am impulsive. I can be irrational. I over analyze. I am almost annoyingly loyal and to feel betrayed is the worst feeling to me, its something I just can't get over right away. I try to think before I speak, but being impulsive that doesn't always work.
I am cautious when I first enter a relationship, but once I know I can trust you I shower you with affection and if I can gifts.
I prefer the little things in life. I don't care about having bigger or better.
I love to recycle and love the taste of organic natural local. I fight depression more often than not and hate being alone.
Country is one of the best kinds. Of anything.
Skinning a deer is a great bonding moment. So is cuddling.
I like pbr and wine. Or a miller 64. If I'm on the west coast I love IPA.
I detest the cold, unless I have a hot cup of tea.
I love the summer months but do my best writing on the colder months. It's not the dark I'm afraid of but what I can't see.
If you really know me I am an open book and can be an easy read. If not I'm tough to crack.
I believe in The father the son and the holy ghost. As well as astrology.
Cardio is one if the best work outs in my book. I fall asleep listening to violins or classical and try to pet my dog before he jumps off the bed.

Of course I could go on and on. It's not that I need to find my self, as one of my best friends suggested. No I need to become more into with my self. I was lost and am found. So instead of worrying about having a date to a football game or party. I'll go alone. For the next few months I'll just be me and enjoy every moment. I'll live by the tattoo I'm getting in a few weeks:
Live.love.forgive.

Be prepared to hear about yoga and me getting "in tune" with me.

Ah Sunday

I went to bed around... Probably 1215 and was out. I woke up about four times this morning and couldn't get enough sleep. It was nice. Ish.

I am past my anger stage and at the forgiveness staged. I will say I am still a little sad because I was just getting used to the whole relationship thing and really liking it.

I'm planning on walking Oliver, maybe a small run with him, hitting my apartment gym and having a great day at work. Not sure what will happen tonight but I am sure it will be nice. Actually I think I am going to stay home and actually clean.


Just walked out side: it's raining. That's why I couldn't get enough sleep.

Single. Again.

I don't really know how I feel. I've pin pointed why I "over reacted", but I really can't get over what's gone on and a few things I've realized. I know I promised to always be honest on here and I have but I'm going to have to omit part of my reasoning. How I feel about a certain person. And the entire lack of trust.

SAA and I were great when we were good. But I just... A few things came up and looking back I feel like a few lines were crossed.

I want to give it another shot. But at the same time I know not a lot will change. So it makes me not want too.

Eh. We'll see. Like I've mentioned before I am not good at relationships.

Interesting

SAA went from happy to nothing in 24hrs. It's interesting.

I actually ended it.

Because I've told him this I really don't feel bad about writing it. Last night we had a goodbye party for my brother and a welcome home party for my best friend, who I may have mentioned but we'll call him Montana.( he's stationed there for now). A little ways into the night most of the guys started playing a drinking game... Uh game of death or something with cards. SAA put his hand on 'his best friends' ass. And then proceeded to sit in the corner with her talking and laughing and all. The whole night he really didn't even act like we were dating.

It even made Montana uncomfortable.

I have never thought twice about SAA and his friend. In fact the three of us were really close for a while. In fact she was upset with me for both telling her she needs to get over a guy and asking SAA if he wanted to sleep with another girl(info she told me). She thought I had been acting weird around them as of I thought she had feelings for him. Until she said it the thought had never entered my mind. In fact after that I dismissed it. But then last night happened.

And now looking back I can see how it would seem like they were dating.

It drives me crazy, I had a feeling he an we wouldn't last especially with him taking classes this semester, me going next semester an working. But it still sucks.

And honestly there were a lot time that I wasn't even sure he wanted to be dating me.

When I asked him for my key and he asked for an explanation he did a pretty bad job of denying touching her butt and there not being any feelings there. Last night did not end at all like I expected. Nor has today gone like I expected. Alas life is life and there will always be a curve in the road.

I've rambled enough and have too much more to ramble on. So I am going to sign out!

Hope y'all have a great day.

Favorite color is neon

Which it really is a close first of mine. I LOVE bright colors.

Other than the fact that I was wearing a neon green/yellow shirt, white skirt, brink pink sports bra, that title has no real relevance.

Um it's interesting to me how well SAA and I's relationship is good and is. Sadly and mutual friend and I are(I think) having a tiff, we'll see.

Going to the Benton county fair tonight!! With SAA, my little brother and a few more friends, but not sure EXACTLY who. :)

I actually did a good job braiding my hair this morning!!
See the picture!

Went to the lake yesterday! Had a lot of fun! I'll post ViDEO soon!!

Weird..N Shit...

So I don't know why I have been so post happy.

It might be because I know SAA reads them.

It might be because I am happy and have things to post about.

It might be because it's a way for me to relieve stress, and think things through.

Or it could be all of the above.


Anyways, went and saw Gpa G. today. Stayed longer than I wanted, but still had a good time. I may post some videos, I have to go through them first since my phone was messing up. :/ lol

Goodness there are about 80 different things running through my head at the moment. Well let's call it 80 to a hundred different things, stress is pulling back up.

I have been slacking on my work out's/classes because SAA is just so comfortable to cuddle with. So (technically) today, I'm going for a nice long jog. A very long jog. Followed by lots of cleaning. Hopefully I won't wake my brother up, who is staying the night.

Yeah in the past two minutes my stress level has gone sky high. So I am going to fall asleep, run until I puke in the morning and hopefully a few good ideas will have come to me.

Sleepy

So I sleep better when ever I'm cuddled up next to SAA, but last night I feel asleep watching Rambo(the newest one). I love Rambo. I feel bad because that's the second movie we've tried watching that I fell asleep during. but closing the gym gets tiring,, I don't mind working the closing shift, but my body was used to to mid shift, which I think I am going back to next week.
I'm feel like doing coupley things, but at the same time, not worried about it. It's probably because I'm sleepy, and I some times can't read SAA. Who is going out of town for a couple days, I'll miss him, but I know he'll have fun. :)

Going to dinner tonight with a friend of mine I havent seen in months!! We were almost roommates, I lived with her for a few days and at her house while she was out if state for a while. It was definitely a mistake to move out when and like I did. Miss her like crazy, and am definitely working on not being so rash as quick to jump.

Hope y'all have a great day!!

The big two-one!!

Ah! Can not believe I am FINALLY 21!! It was a lot of fun! And I am definitely dating an awesome guy.
I'm really glad my mom let my brother go out with us. It was a blast. A lot better than I was expecting. It really helped that SAA and I (I guess) resolved things. All I know is we are happy again. And so is Oliver.

The pictures loaded weird. The one of them(with daylight) is from this morning.

My headache hang overs only last about an hour, it's the nausea is evil. It didn't last log today thank god.

Bleh

Well shitty foreshadowing to my birthday.
SAA tried to say he didn't remember anything from the other night. An then today admitted he did.
I would screen shot so explaining would be easier, but there are a lot of curse words.

I'm missing shark week.

But I'll be hanging out at my apartments gym watching discovery channel. And probably kill my legs.

SAA is hinting at making an appearance. I told him I wanted this settled today as my birthday is already going to suck tomorrow.

Went and saw rock of ages last night with my brother. It was a little slow but I liked it. He didn't. I tend to really like musicals.

Very random post

Picked up my brother last night. Love that kid.

Had a three hour talk/fight with SAA(the guy I was seeing mentioned in the previous post). I feel better. My feelings for him were a LOT stronger than i realized. Still unsure about his side of it all. That will probably be a post for a later day.

Realized I have some awesome friends.

And while tanning a little while a go I had the best idea for when zombies happen: tree house. IN FACT! I will build a tree house when I am able to buy some land. So I'll have a house house and a tree house. It was very elaborate and awesome thought as i was tanning.

Uh.. There's more but oh well.

Hope y'all have a great day!!

Single Again

Yeah. Not gonna lie proud of myself. This last 'relationship'/seeing a guy last about two months. That's not bad. Especially for me.

BUT that is no longer. As awesome as this guy is, he didn't like a few things about my past.

I cried but I am a lot better.

Spent an hour and a half at the gym or something like that. Haha! I even impressed the trainers!

My little brother is flying in tonight. He almost missed his connecting plane to AR but thank god he didn't. He'll be a little late but at least he'll be here.

My Grammy sent me a birthday box!! It was awesome!! I got some beautiful cameos! An awesome razor! It's actually a girl razor which is weird for me, cuz usually I use shick. Some candles and she always uses awesome ribbon!!

Let's see what else...
Eh it's a post!! Which I have been slacking on. Hopefully I'll get better at this again.

Hot Sauce (part one)

Yeah I may be seeing one of the best guys ever.