A Letter to the Father of My Child

Dear Fellow,

I almost started this off with 'I'm Sorry', but I'm not. I do feel bad for you though, seeing as for the rest of our lives you are connected to me. Which, to be honest, started as completely unexpected. Only in my wildest dreams did I ever think you would want to be a part of our beautiful baby girls life. Then again, sometimes I find myself questioning how much of this is you wanting and how much of it isn't...
You see I feel bad for you because that little girl and I have a very odd, very close bond. After all it had just been her and I for roughly 16months, then your family was involved. After that she was roughly 19months when you first met her.See I nursed her for roughly 20 and a half months, I bottle fed her, we mostly still co-sleep, I was there when she learned to walk, to talk and bettered her motor skills. It was me not you, who she first called 'dah-dah' (after all she didn't know better having no one else to bestow the name on.)
And oh how stubborn she is, really she gets it from both of us although I would love to blame it all on you.
See I feel bad for you because I expect so much from you. I've been approaching this situation as I would a wild animal for fear of you running away. Yet even though at this point in the game your ability to run away would equate you decreasing to zero communication (which isn't far from where we are now). What I expect from you is to be a man, not a boy who is angry at me because I informed his family of the life of a beautiful child he helped create. Not a boy who thinks his dashing good looks will help him get away with whatever he wants. No I expect to know that when she is with you on the weekends it's your turn she is safe in a bed that is her own.
When I ask if you would prefer do things a different way, it is not to trap you it is so that we can avoid as many bumps in the road as possible. So that this will be easy for both you and I, as well as our daughter.
I expect you to stop treating me like your ex-wife, to stop projecting the past you have with her on to me. As unfortunate as it is, we were not together long enough for you to have the disdain you have for me, nor for you to be so absentee when I try to contact you. I am not her, yes I get upset, I get frustrated, and I can be hurt by your actions, but I am not her.  I do not react the way she does, I do not want to hurt you or anger you in retaliation.

I am not at all concerned with ever having a romantic relationship with you again.
        My focus is this beautiful little girl, completing my degree, obtaining a job in my degree field and living a life for God. I am not focused on convincing or making you want to be with me.

The thing is, you and I created this tiny-ever growing-beautiful child, not your mother and I. Who I am tremendously grateful for. She is a huge help watching LittleMiss while I work, or an occasional extra day I need to focus on homework or can't find a sitter for the me shift. But she is the grandparent, she is not the parent.
I expect you to be a co-parent, standing firm with me in disciplining her as needed. I expect your cooperation with school function and activities. I expect communication. I expect that you are providing her attention, not sending her off to be with a sitter continually and instead spending the time you have together with someone else.
I expect you to be a parent, not a perfect parent, but a loving parent.

Here we go again!

Being freshly single (again, honestly that's just a never ending story..), summer college courses starting today, and the best part: I'm finally happy with life. 

Maybe it's the being freshly single, sun is shining, had a great morning with LittleMiss talking, but I. Am. Happy. Since I have no idea when this glorious feeling will end I am riding this boat as long as I can. 

So of course here we go again with my promises of steady blogs posts, yet thankfully while parenting, homework and my job will be dominating my schedule I foresee several slots of time that I will be able to share tasty recipes, fun crafts, gardening and exciting outings. 

I hope everyone had an exciting weekend and didn't forget the real meaning of the extra day off.