Fathers Day Weekend{2015}

Let me start off by saying this is not my favorite holiday, neither is Mothers Day but that's not the topic. 

Fathers Day is difficult for me because I do still feel like I am fulfilling both roles. I realize I'm going to end up catching flack for this, but please hear me out. This is not to attack anyone, this is just an expression of my views. 

Last year I absolutely was both mommy and daddy. I was bitter about the day, yet thankful for those who did wish me a 'Happy Fathers Day', most of them understood my pain as they were single mums as well. 

This year was a bit rough. Slightly different reasons though. 

This year I had to share my baby with her father, which isn't the issue. He is her dad, he has decided to be a part of her life. But I am still both disciplinarian as well as friend during the week, and every other weekend. I'm still the one kissing every booboo, imaginary or not, and attempting to get her to eat her food, while continuing the battle to not hit mommy. 

Let me be even more honest, there have been things said by persons who are much more bitter than myself. Even though I do my best to not fully acknowledge such things, they have been said. Add those things to the unfortunate and brief history he and I have and it's hard not to worry.  I want to believe with all of my heart that he is becoming everything she deserves, though I have no proof. It's the lack of any sort of evidence, aside from fleetingly brief bye-byes, that makes me worry.  

So yes, these past two Fathers Days have been tough. Though this year, was just slightly more so than last, I ended up being able to push myself to make the most out of it before it could really pull me down.

I put my concerns to the side. I put my faith in God, with the knowledge that no matter what, I will strive to ensure LittleMiss always knows that her mommy loves her.

I made sure we had a good morning before meeting her father.

We went to the farmers market, having fun walking around seeing the tasty foods, other babies and beloved puppies of all sizes and ages.  Best yet was when the splash park turned on while we were eating breakfast. Off she went, not falling once, loving every minute. 

I had a good morning with her. 

{I'm going to sneak this in right here. Saturday night is also the night that fantastic bearded fellow and I reconnected, as friends... first}

On Sunday, I enjoyed the beautiful weather, attempting to catch up on some reading for World Lit before running off to discover a new love.

That's right. 

You can add rock climbing to my list of outdoor-adorations. 

My hands may have been sore, and I may have learned about muscles I had used in ages, It was the most fun. My best friend and I have promised each other to start doing it more. I am even going to be getting LittleMiss in on. 

Speaking of which, her father dropped her off at home and we finished the day right.

With big bites full of watermelon. 

Oh how this girl loves watermelon. 

While it may have been an underlying difficult time for me, I made sure to push through. I surrounded myself with fantastic people, and made new friends. 

{I kept reminding myself to forgive, and to simply love.}