In her hands

It's terrifying being a mommy.
I never realized how much of a control freak I could be.
I never knew I could love something or someone so much it quite literally hurts. I never knew how hard fear could grip me. Spiders, zombies, they have nothing compared to the fear of something stoping me from protecting my baby. Fear of something happening to her out of my control, where I can't be there to immediately react. Fear of something happening to me and in turn my inability to protect or watch the little life that formed inside of me grow into a beautiful adult.

As a single mommy I play all roles.
Good guy, bad guy, protector, discipline-r, I am the woman trying to be a good godly mommy/influence, the stern voice telling her not to play with the knives in the dishwasher, the provider, the gourmet chef, the wardrobe planner and washer, diaper changer, and stuffed animal kisser. 

There are never enough hours in day for what my job title entails.
There are never enough seconds during her wake up hugs or random kisses (either the ones that she allows me to give her or the ones she gives me.). The giggles always cut too short, beauty of her young innocence  going too quickly. 

I could never breathe into words what every mother feels; it's too deep, too real, too loving.

I know this seems random but this is just a part of motherhood. I can't tell if I've over posted things like this or if I haven't told you how much I love this tiny human or maybe it's just something I really needed to get off my chest. 

Motherhood, fatherhood, will be your greatest accomplishment and biggest weakness.